What a real Spring looks like

When I was in Cincinnati last week, I saw all of this beautiful stuff. My first thought when driving around the city was “Cincy has bloomed!” Flowers were everywhere. Grass was green and lush. That’s the kind of Spring I remember. Here in NH, we’re getting ready for our newest season — flood season. I hope I’m wrong. I really do.

 

Oh yeah. And the week before, I was in Yankee Stadium for the Red Sox - Yankee game:

And late in March, I was in Duxbury, MA for a weekend retreat:

And yesterday, I was in Detroit. Thank goodness I didn’t take any pics

Peace,
G

Who’s on first? What’s on second?

I’m reading Good to Great by Jim Collins. It’s an OUTSTANDING business book! I know it has been around for a while (seven years), but I never got around to reading it. During my business trip this week, I jumped on the first 120 or so pages. I’m getting a lot out of it (quite an understatement).

From a business book perspective, it is the gold standard. I’m not saying it is THE definitive business book out there, but it’s a rock solid entry on any business-related reading list. Additionally, it’s #35 on Amazon’s bestsellers. That’s damn impressive for a seven year old book that hasn’t been endorsed by Oprah. 

On a personal level, there’s one concept that really grabbed my attention. The chapter is called, “First Who…Then What.” The author describes his findings around how “good-to-great” companies “first got the right people on the bus (and the wrong people off the bus) and then figured out where to drive it.”

The author and his research team “expected to find that the first step in taking a company from good to great would be to set a new direction, a new vision and strategy for the company, and then to get people committed and aligned behind that new direction.” I would have expected the same thing.

This goes beyond business for me…and this is the reason for this post. I see how this concept applies to relationships, friendships, etc. 

In Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man (another GREAT book), Sam Keen writes, “…probably the single most important bit of advice I ever got about being a man. ‘There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is Where am I going? and the second is Who will go with me? If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.’”

I read and discussed this idea from Keen seven years ago. It made sense to me. It still does. I see the beauty in the clarity of these questions and answering them in this order. Pick a direction, then find people (or a person) whose direction complements or lines up with your own. I have drawn on this idea over the years since I first read it.

Then, I read the “First Who…Then What” chapter by Collins. Collins talks about beginning with “who” rather than “what,” and how this allows an organization to more easily adapt to a changing world. This resonates with me, too. He says, “If people join the bus primarily because of where it is going, what happens if you get ten miles down the road and you need to change direction? You’ve got a problem.”

Damn if that doesn’t make sense. It seems more dynamic than the first model. In a relationship, get the right person on the bus (or get on their bus…I don’t think bus ownership really matters here), then create something together. Both people bring qualities of wanting to move the relationship forward, and both are open to creating something that might not have existed before. Wicked cool.

I’ve lived both examples in my lifetime, but the Collins theory seems more alive to me right now. Maybe it’s a newer concept. Maybe it’s an apples to oranges comparison. Relating to oneself, “first what” makes sense. What do I see for me? What is my direction? What is alive in me with which others can connect? Relating to others, “first who” makes sense. Does this person have the qualities I seek? Together, can we create something great, even if we don’t know what it looks like yet?

What’s your take? I’d love to hear it.

Happy weekend and much love!
Greg

_______ is the new “is the new”?

In my endlessly curious (i.e., incessant and addictive) surfing of the Internet, I found this diagram. The diagram “documents every instance of the phrase ‘is the new’ encountered from various sources in 2005.” How freakishly cool is this?

As many of you are much more in tune with popular culture, I’m curious to find out - what is the new “is the new”?

Any takers?

At wit’s end

There may be more PC (politically correct) ways to say this, but this is what I’m feeling. In many cases, I believe being PC dumbs down a topic or doesn’t give the people involved the respect they deserve. These people and this topic deserve my respect.

My aunt (my birthmother’s sister) is dying. We don’t know when or how it will happen, but her battle with cancer is no longer going well. This is HUGELY sad on all levels. She is married with two children in their twenties - one is 20 years old and attending college.

My father’s cousin (my first cousin once removed) is dying. Again, we don’t know when or how it will happen, but her battle with cancer is no longer going well. This, too, is HUGELY sad on all levels. She is married with three children and a new grandchild.

If you’re the praying sort (or however you connect with Spirit), please pray for the highest and best for all involved. Obviously, no one knows what this looks like in either case. All thoughts and prayers are welcome…whatever they look like.

Dying happens. When my father was dying, I read two books that impacted me greatly – Dying Well by Ira Byock and Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. Each book gave me amazing gifts around making peace with the process of dying.

Reading about dying led me to more understanding around dying. Reading these books brought me some comfort. Someone was talking/writing about what I was feeling. I’m guessing we’ve all experienced that feeling of relating – someone gets me.

What did I come away with? Dying is an experience. It’s a personal experience. It’s a very personal experience which very few people can talk about or discuss openly. It’s a hard topic. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It’s HUGELY emotional and affects everyone differently.

I’m not here to tell anyone what kind of experience they should have. That would be ludicrous. Each experience is going to be unique on all sides of the process. I am, however, calling people (mostly myself) to approach the topic with courage, compassion and consciousness.

I want to reach out to my family, offer them my heart and ask them what they’re feeling. How can I support them? What can I do? Even if you don’t know what I can do, what might it look like? Then I think, “Is this for me or for them?” What is my motivation? My comfort or theirs?

In a nutshell, I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. I’m afraid it will be about me. I’m afraid I won’t have anything to add. I’m afraid. And then I take a deep breath and remember when my father was dying in Hospice back in 1998-1999.

When my father was dying, I didn’t know what to ask for…in terms of support. What could someone possibly have done? Nothing to change the outcome, that’s for sure. However, the dying process isn’t about the outcome. It’s about the experience. I might not have understood this then. I get it now.

I experienced people reaching out to me, my family and my father in ways I could not have imagined. People gave of their time, effort and lives to create a rich dying experience for my father and for all of us. People showed their truest colors – the colors of greatness that exists within us all.

This, I’m finding, is my call to me. Let me show my truest of colors. Let me show my greatness to those I love…whatever it looks like. Let me, together with others, help create a dying experience rich with love, humilty, compassion and understanding.

This is about my family. It’s not about me. And, I have gifts I can offer my family. If they are open to these gifts, we can share in them together. If not, so be it. I will make peace with this and I won’t ask, “What if?” later.

Well, I think I wrote this one for myself. I needed my own pep talk. Thanks for reading and continuing to check in.

With love,
Gregory

About stories

I was recently listening to an NPR show, Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me! The show is hosted by a few “known” people, and they bring on celebrity guests. The hosts chat up the celebrity guest, then quiz him/her on an unlikely topic (something out of character for the guest). If he/she answers two out of three quiz questions correctly, a “home player” wins a prize.

The show is funny. It’s another great example of quality content offered by NPR. If you’re not listening to NPR, start now. Yes, you! The point of this post is that one of their guests was a novelist. She was from the south and had the southern charm. She said one thing that really stuck me.

She and the hosts were talking about her mother’s ability to tell stories. She said something like, “It’s not about telling great stories all the time. It’s about making a story out of any situation. It’s about a way of seeing things and being open to the stories that are around us.”

I had forgotten about that. Somewhere along the way, I got damn literal. That can be boring. Thanks for the reminder, Ms. Southern Charm.

She and the hosts also confirmed that folks from the south have a way of being able to say anything they want about someone as long as they end the statement with…you guessed right if you said, “Bless his/her/their heart.”

i.e., Meyer’s a lackluster blogger these days, bless his heart. (See what I mean, people?)

Bless your hearts
Gregory

OMG

I don’t watch American Idol, but a friend forwarded me a video of one Idol participant’s performance. This kid is 16 years old and he absolutely rocks this song. Holy shnikes!

David Archuleta singing John Lennon’s Imagine

Watching this really makes me want to sing. I’m thinking about calling someone for voice lessons. Seriously. Where is Guitar Hero when I need it?

Get inspired today!
G

This blog sucks

I know I’m not posting. I’m not apologizing either. As much as the managing editors of Objective Perspective want more content and want to exceed last year’s numbers, the spirit is unwilling and the flesh is weak.

In other news, the FJR1300 (aka, wicked fast, blue motorcycle) has been retrieved from the storage facility. That’s the good news. The bad news – it needs a new battery. The current battery won’t hold a charge. Should be pretty simple.

In more other news, the ManKind Project weekend was outstanding. I helped bring 29 more men into MKP. (We’re over 40,000 worldwide.) More than that, I helped 29 men wake up to themselves, their missions and their families.

When I arrived home from staffing the November NWTA, I wrote about making the world a better place. I firmly believe that’s what I’m doing.

To put it another way (and this is NOT from MKP):

“A hero is often considered to be someone born with outstanding ability, courage, and bravery. But are heroes really born that way… are they superior beings?

Some heroes you are familiar with have forged their strength and character through their experiences. Their bravery and courage are developed in spite of fear and human failings. Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz must travel with her companions to develop qualities of courage, heart, and brain before she can return home with a new appreciation for her loved ones. And in the recent movie, Titanic, Rose must learn to take hold of her own life and make it truly her own.

Television has its share of action heroes and battles between the good guys and the bad guys. But perhaps you could also think of these stories and images as reminders of the heroic nature of your own individual journey–no matter how ordinary you may think your own life is.

Many artists have depicted the hero’s journey as a great battle with evil or a quest for something sacred that will help their community. Other heroes must complete a bigger-than-life task. We love these stories! Gawain, Percival, and Galahad quest for the Holy Grail and Jason for the golden fleece.  Hercules must complete twelve nearly impossible tasks as an act of penance.

A familiar theme in paintings is Michael slaying the dragon. In our own lives, the dragons we meet are not so much breathing fire on us as breathing fire in us. Our dragons  might be an illness or a loss or a great fear. Or perhaps we have to conquer self-doubt. Slaying the dragon can be an important metaphor for our inner quest for peace, truth, love, and wisdom.

What are your dragons?

Sometimes, the hero’s journey involves learning to believe in ourselves and our ability to play our part. We may even need to grow into and accept our ability to lead others, overcoming guilt or confusion–you remember Simba in The Lion King? Joseph Campbell taught that the hero’s journey is primarily a journey to the center of yourself, an inner  journey to wholeness and understanding.

So it’s possible to see your entire life as a hero’s journey. And at the end of your life, you have the opportunity to look back with wonder, awe, and compassionate understanding at all that you have learned and experienced.”

Peace and love, peeps!
Gregory

Neglectful chicken sans head

I’ve been neglecting my blog and doing a lot of running around over the past couple of weeks. Some of it feels frenetic, while other parts of it feel OK. I don’t have the time for a full post, so I’ll just touch base with y’all.

This morning, I’m leaving for a ManKind Project New Warrior Training Adventure. I’m staffing my sixth weekend. I really enjoy my involvement and I’m ready for a break. It’s a give and take.

I’ll be way off the grid for four days. I’m not saying you’ll miss my blogs (as those have been super sparse). I’m saying that if you seek to contact me, I won’t be answering the phone or checking email.

Have a GREAT weekend!

Until we meet again,
Greg